Thursday, October 07, 2010

It's tough...

It’s tough when you don’t know what you said…or didn’t say.

It’s tough when you don’t know what you did…or didn’t do.

It’s tough to know that you cannot change another or what they choose to believe, even when you know how grave is their error, even when that error carves a grievous wound.

It’s tough to find balance, to keep the love and shrug off the hurt.

It’s tough to find the boundary, to draw the line that protects you but does not punish them…for they are as entitled to make mistakes as you are entitled to bleed from them.

And yet—

There is nothing in the rules of relationship that says you must honour that which another has cast aside. There is nothing that obligates you to accept their errors for the truths they believe them to be, nothing that requires you to bend your neck to their disrespect, their disdain, their scorn. Nothing requires you to sacrifice dignity and self-respect to those who would malign you, even in error, and nothing demands that you give over your truth to the self-serving untruths that disparage you.

It’s tough when those you have loved since before their first heartbeat know you not and care even less.

But it is not the end of the world.

1 comment:

  1. Yes, rejected love often feels like betrayal at the most simplistic level.

    Therefore to embrace an understanding of the greater love offers sanity when we cannot peer into others’ minds and hearts.

    This love especially includes love of our selves.

    There is a quotation in the Bible that I am sure is part of the greater understanding – asking: How can you love a God you cannot see when you cannot love the neighbor you can see; and of course, the implied question is: How can you love your neighbor without loving yourself.

    Not as uncomplicated as I would like, but it's an ongoing job.



Your comments welcome! Anonymous comments are enabled as a courtesy for people who are not members of Blogger. They are not enabled to allow people to leave gratuitously rude comments, and such comments will not be published. Disagreement will not sink your comment, but disagreeable disagreement will.